Bombarding young children with grown-ups’ issues is causing harm: experts

DANIELLE GUSMAROLIThe Daily Telegraph

August 17, 2018 8:00PM

Topics

PARENTS are being urged to “de-friend” their children amid what is described as an epidemic of four-year-olds being diagnosed with crippling anxiety and depression.

Psychologists warn that warring parents are dumping their woes onto emotionally stunted children unable to deal with adult issues and treating them as pawns in their personal battles.

Child psychologists say parents who treat their offspring as personal pals and mini-psychologists are creating more anxious, fearful and stressed youngsters.

Children suffer from being embroiled in the relationship problems of adults, experts warn. Credit: Supplied

Get in front of tomorrow's news for FREE

Journalism for the curious Australian across politics, business, culture and opinion.

READ NOW

Recent figures from a government-funded Telethon survey show 560,000 — or one in seven — children aged 4-17 experienced a mental disorder in 2015, compared with 500,000 the previous year.

It also found 278,000 children aged 4-17 suffered an anxiety disorder — social phobia, separation anxiety, panic, post-traumatic stress or obsessive compulsive disorder.

“Parents need to stop treating their children as their personal friends.

They need to de-friend them as mates,” educational and development psychologist Rose Cantalli said.

Parenting and relationships expert Dr Justin Coulson said increasingly blurred line of authority had contributed to growing anxiety. Credit: Supplied

“Four-year-olds cannot solve breakups or financial problems.

“I’m treating an increasing number with anxiety at my practice in Concord where children feel torn and upset by their parents breaking up and dumping their emotional heartache on them or using them as pawns to get their partner back.

“Parents will ask their children ‘did you see your dad — was his new girlfriend with him?’ Or tell their children, ‘your father cheated on me,’ or complain to them about their financial stresses.”

Child psychiatrist and researcher Phil Tram said bombarding children with adult issues was creating problems with “identity formation”.

“Kids are becoming adults too soon, they’re not emotionally developed enough to cope and get highly stressed.

“Parents tell them their problems and TV commercials tell them to be great sportsmen or buy the best bling.”

Parenting and relationships expert Dr Justin Coulson said increasingly blurred line of authority had contributed to growing anxiety among toddlers.

“Children are children and need to be treated that way — more parents are forgetting this and treating them as friends.

“Parents cannot drag their children into their own furore — it’s their job to protect them, not offload on them.”

Download The Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph app for your smartphone or tablet to get the full story.

APPLE: DOWNLOAD THE APP FOR iOS

GOOGLE PLAY: DOWNLOAD THE APP FOR ANDROID

The Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph app for your smartphone and tablet is a crackerjack way to read the stories that matter most to you Credit: The Daily Telegraph

Get alerts about the latest breaking news on your locked smartphone screen and then tap to go straight to the article Credit: The Daily Telegraph

WHAT YOU GET WITH OUR APP

► Live and latest news — Get the news as it breaks 24-hours a day, 7 days a week

► My News — Your own personal news feed. Tailor your news to get straight to the topics that matter to you

► Today’s Paper — Read the paper anytime, anywhere with the digital replica of the paper, as its printed

► Notifications — Be the first to know when big stories break with instant news alerts straight to the locked screen on your smartphone and tablet

► Live Sport Scores — Stay on the ball with NRL and AFL live sport scores and expect analysis

► Share — Join the conversation and share your favourite stories via Facebook, Twitter or email

► Daily puzzles — With new crosswords and Sudoku puzzles every day, there’s always something to keep your mind active

► Subscribe— Through the app (via iTunes) to start your 30-day FREE trial; then your subscription will automatically renew to $29.99 per month.